MacFadyen: Everyday M&A
January 4, 2010
I took some time off during the holidays, but still managed to get my fill of M&A, which occasionally came from some unlikely sources.
At the Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles, I had to try to convince the DMV rep that Chase Auto Finance was a unit within JPMorgan Chase. I was attempting to register an out-of-state vehicle, and was told that it would be impossible since there was a discrepancy in the lienholders. The title said JPMorgan Chase held the lien, while the correspondence from the bank was on Chase Auto Finance letterhead. This qualified as a major impasse.
I thought I sounded pretty impressive rattling off that Chase Manhattan acquired JPMorgan in 2000 for around $35 billion. I provided a backdrop, listing some historical deals in the banking space, and even touched on some recent activity. I was trying paint a picture of the consolidation that has gone on throughout JPMorgan's storied history. The representative was less than impressed and not at all convinced. She couldn't get over the fact that the two entities had different names, and chose to overlook the whole "Chase" thing as pure coincidence.
Business units within companies, I tried to explain, often have different names than the parent companies. I used Disney and ABC as an example. She stared at me blankly, clearly annoyed. I could actually discern in her voice that she was thinking about a cigarette at this point
I asked for a manager, but she said his door was closed. She asked other co-workers, none of whom could be bothered for a "yes" or "no" response. They merely looked at me as she asked and went about their business.
We went back and forth like this for about thirty minutes, which actually feels like an hour in the stale DMV air. She finally relented and checked the internet at my request. It took a few attempts, but Wikipedia came through with evidence of the merger. She printed up a copy of the page, stapled it to my application, and sent me on my way with new plates.
I know I sound smug, but this was my third visit to a DMV in a week and each successive representative I dealt with took more pleasure in their obtusity. (I made up that word, but I think it fits.) The DMV rep only deigned to offer some bit of cheer when she told me that the seven day window for an inspection included New Year's Eve, New Years day and the weekend. It was at this moment it crystallized for me exactly why the government needs to stay as far away as possible from any services we actually value.
I had another surprise run in with M&A at a local car dealership. My wife was looking to lease a vehicle, probably a looking a bit too enthused in the process. We told a salesman what we were looking for and he went to work trying to sell us something better. He asked me what I did for a living, though, and early on probably figured correctly that a journalist may not be the whale he was hoping for.
He mentioned briefly that he used to work in M&A. I pressed a little, but he didn't seem too interested in divulging a whole lot. He had a car to sell and I was technically on a vacation.
As it turned out, he wasn't lying. A little bit of follow-up research turned up a $700 million plus sale he led in the mid-nineties as an executive at tech company. He later served as a CEO of private company in the tech space. A little more digging also revealed that he lost a $2.2 million judgment this past March related to allegations of fraud and a failed sponsorship agreement.
He was probably one of the more trustworthy car salesmen I've run across, actually. Had I known about his background in M&A, I probably would have negotiated a better deal on the lease, but I did alright considering I was facing a ringer. One consolation is that when you lease a vehicle, they handle the registration, meaning I won't be forced into a fourth visit to DMV.
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